A New Beginning
by Darth Tromeros
Summary: The story of Rose Tyler and a copy of the man she loves. Series of sort-of drabbles. Title and rating might change in the future.
1. Chapter 1

"What do we do now?"

That had been the first thing she said after the Doctor, _her _Doctor, had left. There was a long silence, his hand still holding hers.

"Have an adventure," he said finally.

"How do we do that? We have no TARDIS, we have no aliens to fight…." She drifted off, feeling uneasy the longer her hand was in his.

"We don't need any of that stuff," he answered. "Just you and me should suffice." He gave a small smile.

She couldn't take the eyes off the spot where he had left. He could've just taken her with him. They didn't have to go back Earth, just travel through time and space like they used to.

"So you really are human?"

"Fifty percent, at least. Enough to live a lifetime with you."

_But I don't want a lifetime, I want forever._

She finally broke the stare, looking down at her feet instead. His hand felt strange in hers, unnatural almost. He wasn't the Doctor. The Doctor had left her. The Doctor had promised to stay with her and he left her. Her heart sunk at the realization.

"I guess you need a place to stay," she said.

He tilted his head. "I have to take a mortgage," he said with an almost horrified tone to his voice.

She had to smile. "No, you can stay with us. I'm positive we can find you a place to stay in that big house. Better than the apartment back home, at least."

He gave a sad smile. Looking down at her, he noticed her wiping at her eyes with her free hand, taking a deep breath. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing." She looked up, trying to fake a smile. "Nothing, it's just… home." A forced laugh came out.

"Is it… bad here?"

She stayed quiet for a moment before biting her lip and shaking her head. "No. It's not all too different but… it was empty here without… without you."

"I'm here now."

Quickly, she put her head down, trying to hide the tears that sprang to her eyes. _You're not him._

"Rose." His voice was quiet, almost shy. She felt him squeeze her hand, causing her to look up at him. He had a sad look in his eye. "Let's go."

She couldn't do anything but nod.


	2. Chapter 2

It was quiet between the two for weeks. She would wake up in the early morning to go to work, passing by his bedroom as she left. His door was always cracked open. Sometimes she felt the need to stop and peer in, holding her breath as she watched him sleep. She wasn't even sure if he was real at times, but there was something almost comforting as she watched him rest peacefully, body completely still other than the movements of his chest as he breathed.

Occasionally she craved sleeping next to him, hands feeling him, absorbing the warmth of his skin. Memories of the TARDIS came flooding back to her, leaving her eyes hollow and demeanor quiet and sad for the rest of the day. When she came home, he was usually on the couch in one of the rooms, watching TV shows with interest. She would always look at him when she passed by, wondering what insults he came up with in his head regarding the intellectual inferiority of humans. It made her smile for a brief moment before it faded again.

When they had both gone to bed, she thought about him, holding the covers to her chest. She ached to hear his laugh again, desired to feel his skin on hers. Sometimes she was tempted to ask him to hold her, but she remembered he wasn't the Doctor, just some copy.

It hurt.

* * *

On her days off, she usually woke up late, the sound of her mother laughing drifting through the hallway. She would get out of bed, her hair messy and pajama bottoms drooping, and head for the dining room. His voice eventually came into ear shot, sounding chipper as he talked to Jackie.

When he came back, her mom seemed to act so much nicer to him. She always said how she couldn't stand him, but something had changed. Rose would often hear them chatting downstairs or see them outside talking from her bedroom window. It was nice to see her mom finally accepting him, regardless if he was the real one or not.

As Rose entered the kitchen, her mom would look over and smile. "Good morning, dear," she would say. "I'll have your breakfast ready in a minute." She would go into the kitchen, leaving the Doctor and Rose alone.

She would look at him for a few seconds, seeing an adoring sparkle in his eyes. "Good morning, Rose," he would tell her. She only ever mumbled it back.


	3. Chapter 3

There was a night she was alone with him, her parents off to some show, leaving her to take care of the baby. She was up in her parents' room, cradling him and humming a lullaby, trying to get him to calm down and go to sleep. He resisted, kicking his feet as he continued to fuss.

"Do you need help?"

She turned to see the Doctor leaning against the doorway, a small smile on his face.

"Um, are— are you good with babies?"

He took a few slow steps towards her. "I can speak baby."

"What?"

"I'm not too sure if it was just the TARDIS or a natural ability," he continued. He stopped in front of her. "I guess we'll see." He held his arms out. She looked at him for a moment before handing the child to him. The Doctor took him, bringing him close to his face. "Hi, there," he cooed. "What seems to be your problem?" He paused for a moment, listening to the short cries. "Oh." He looked up at Rose. "He doesn't like that window being open."

"You—you understood that from the baby?"

"I kept some things, being half Time Lord and all," he said. "I guess speaking baby was one of them."

She headed to the window, closing it and the blinds. "There, is that better?" she heard him say. The infant started crying again. "Oh, dear." The Doctor started rocking him, muttering something underneath his breath. The baby calmed down almost instantly, eyes drooping. Smiling softly, the Doctor put him in his crib.

"How'd you do it?" she whispered.

He pointed towards the door, signaling to leave. She followed him out, moving out of the way as he quietly shut the door.

"How'd you do it?" she asked again, her voice still low.

"Lullabies work." His eyes sparkled.

"What'd you sing?"

"It's Gallifreyan. I haven't heard it since I was very, very young." He suddenly looked tired, the glimmer in his eye disappearing. "Very, very young," he murmured.

She looked away, trying to ignore all the questions that had appeared. She had the rest of her life to ask them.

The rest of her life. The rest of her life with the Doctor. She smiled for a brief moment until she remembered the Doctor, the _real _Doctor, was out there right now, flying to who knew where, leaving her behind.

It suddenly hurt to breathe.


	4. Chapter 4

One night she couldn't sleep, tossing and turning in her bed. Comfort seemed unattainable. Giving up the fight, she left her bed, heading down the hallway to the kitchen. As she passed by the Doctor's room, she heard a shuddered breath. She paused, listening closely. There was no noise besides her heart beating in her ears. Tempted to knock and see what he was doing, she instead pressed her ear against the wall. It was quiet for a moment before she faintly heard a muttered jumble of words, not able to be understood.

Interest increasing, she went to his door, peeking through the crack. In the darkness he saw him on his bed, shoulders hunched and arms resting on his knees. A hand came to his face, wiping at his eye. Something was different; something almost unnerving. He seemed so weak and defenseless as he sat there, presumably crying. She felt guilty instantly for spying on him, but she couldn't bring herself to look away. Her heart broke, wishing she could embrace him and tell him everything was going to be all right even if she didn't know what he was crying over, but she knew she couldn't.

She wasn't even sure he would accept her, anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

Her pillow was stained with her tears, her shoulders jerking up and down as she sobbed. The house was quiet other than her muffled crying. She was alone, her family out shopping and the Doctor somewhere she wasn't sure of. He hadn't drifted off much too long ago; he had sat by her door when she had ran into her room and slammed it shut.

She was scared to think of what the Doctor thought of her. He had approached her as she was making herself a cup of tea, close enough where their arms were brushing. Even if he hadn't been intending to get into any sort of intimacy, it had made her uncomfortable. He wasn't the Doctor, just some knock-off. It pained her when he touched her, when he looked at her, when he said her name. He wasn't supposed to be there. He wasn't the real thing.

Tears had started spilling over as he started talking to her. He saw her crying, stopping suddenly in his sentence and instead asking her what was wrong. She didn't answer him. When he reached out to wipe her tears away, she swatted at his hand. "Don't touch me," she mumbled.

"What?" he asked, confusion on his face.

"Don't touch me!" she snapped, looking up. His face grew blurry as more tears came to her eyes. "You're not the Doctor! The Doctor was supposed to rescue me and we would fly off into the sky in that silly blue box!"

"Rose…" His face looked crestfallen, voice timid.

"Don't say my name! Just get away from me!"

"Rose, I am the Doctor." It looked like he might have been crying too, the area around his eyes getting red. "Believe me, Rose Tyler. It's me, the Doctor. I'm here to be with you."

"Stop lying to me!" she screamed. Pushing him out of the way, she ran to her room and threw herself on the bed. His soft footsteps followed a few moments later, stopping right outside her door.

Although she thought he heard him leave, she wondered if maybe he was still there, waiting for her. If he wasn't, she couldn't blame him. She shouldn't have said those things, but being around him was suffocating. She was drowning in memories, crying out for a man she couldn't ever have.

But he was never hers to begin with.


	6. Chapter 6

It wasn't until much later she approached him. The event had happened weeks prior, but it ended any conversation they might have had. He usually politely excused himself from the room when she entered. Jackie had asked Rose why the Doctor was acting so strange; he had seemed so down the entire time he was here, but now it was a bit concerning. Rose pretended she didn't know.

The Doctor was watching the news when Rose came down, her hand resting against the doorway. "Hey," she said softly.

He looked up at her, reaching for the remote. "I'll leave," he said.

"Don't."

He froze. "I'm serious, Rose. If you want me to leave, I will. I want nothing more than to make you happy."

"But what about you?"

He smiled sadly. "Who cares about me? I don't have any friends or family or anything. I just showed up."

"Doctor…." She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "I want to talk to you."

"About what?"

"About you." She opened her eyes, walking towards him and sitting down on the couch. She put her hands between her legs, knees pressing against them. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the Doctor. She didn't dare to look at him.

"What about me then?" he said after a pause.

She took another breath. "Those months without you… those were so hard." She clenched her eyes shut. "I would lay there every night and hope that you would come back some how. And then I would remember the beach…." Her throat tightened, making it hard to breathe. Forcing open her eyes, a tear rolled down her cheek. "I wanted nothing more to have you back. Then you came, and I thought maybe I could do it all again, go and see the universe, but I was dumped off here. But this time, I had you." She gave a forced laugh. "At first it seemed too good to be true, but I thought… as he was leaving… I thought you were nothing but a copy and he was only going to leave me again, this time on purpose."

A steady stream of tears ran down her face. The Doctor pursed his lips, looking away from Rose. "Say something," she said, her voice cracking. "Please."

"Rose Tyler," he started softly, reaching out to cup his hand around her chin. "You're one of the most wonderful and brilliant people I've ever met. I wouldn't leave you ever. I missed you so, _so much_."

She looked up at him, her eyes red.

"I'm the real Doctor, Rose. When I was created, I had every single memory he had, every emotion and thought. Don't think of me like a clone. Think of me as if I'm the Doctor in an alternate universe, only half-Time Lord and TARDIS-less."

"Isn't that what you are?"

He gave a crooked grin. "You don't seem to think of me like that."

Rose sat in silence, thinking over what he just said. She closed her eyes again, hot tears spilling over her eyelids. "God, I'm a terrible person."

"You're not."

"I am, calling you those things. Could you forgive me?"

He pulled her into his embrace. "I already have."


	7. Chapter 7

It was the next morning Rose woke up to the sound of humming in the hallway. She blinked, trying to get the sleep out of her eyes while her hair hung around her head, tangled and messy. Getting out of bed, she yawned, fixing her soft pajama bottoms and straightening the pink shirt she often wore to bed.

As she approached the kitchen, she saw the back of the Doctor's head, working at the stove. Her footsteps were soft against the floor, but the Doctor heard her anyway. "Good morning, Rose Tyler!" he said as he spun around with a big smile on his face.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Making breakfast," he replied, waving a spatula in his right hand before turning back to the stove.

"How long have you been up?" she asked him.

"Ah, it's not a problem. You know how long I can be awake for."

"You need to sleep. You're not a full Time Lord."

"But I'm not a full human either. I can stay up longer than you lot can." He turned to give her a smile, grabbing a plate on the counter and then twisting back to the stove.

"Are you making eggs?"

"Sausage is next." He smiled again as he went to another counter, putting down the plate of eggs.

She leaned against the same counter. "I almost forgot you could cook."

"Nine hundred years in time and space, you tend to learn things. Especially when you have to feed yourself." He went back to the stove, starting to cook again. Rose stood silently, looking at the ground and playing with her fingers.

"You can eat something, you know."

She jumped at the sound of his voice, seeing his neck craned over his shoulder. "You don't have to wait," he continued.

"No, no, I can wait. Don't worry."

Something glimmered in his eyes as he grinned yet again.

"You seem awfully chipper this morning," she remarked.

"I would say good night's sleep, but that doesn't seem to reasonable."

"So what does?" She raised her eyebrows in interest. "Sound reasonable, I mean."

He stayed silent for a moment, sausage sizzling loudly. "I was thinking of you."


	8. Chapter 8

One of her favorite things in both universes was his smile. It would start as a small smirk, erupting into a goofy grin that stretched ear to ear. It was contagious, causing her to feel happy as he beamed at her over miscellaneous things. Sometimes it would be something in the news, the Doctor remarking on how brilliant humans were; other times he would laugh to himself over something he had tweaked, adding some unnecessary but almost luxurious feature to common household objects. She enjoyed sitting and watching him silently, observing the way his forehead creased as he was thinking and the different positions of his lips.

It was never boring just to sit quietly as he worked. Random noises occasionally escaped his throat, little "ha"s for success and "ah"s for frustration. His fingers always moved quickly, tinkering with anything he could find.

"You can't sit still, can you?" Rose asked one day.

"I've been traveling around space my whole life," he started, staring intensely on whatever object he was holding in his hands. "Living in a house is not my style."

"You seemed okay doing nothing before."

"I was planning all of this."

She raised an eyebrow. "Really?" she asked incredulously.

He looked over at Rose briefly. "Yes, really."

She gave a laugh. "Is there ever a moment when your mind is clear?"

"It's been a lot clearer since I became half Time Lord," he murmured, sticking the piece in his hands into the opening he had made in the toaster in front of him. "And I believe it is making me mad."

"And you weren't mad before?"

The Doctor stopped, staring at Rose over the rim of his glasses. Lips pursed, he ran a hand through his hair. "Rose Tyler," he said quietly, amusement in his voice. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against her forehead. He lingered for a moment, Rose growing warm under his touch. Pulling away from her took as long as the kiss had lasted, ending with him grinning at her and turning back to what he was doing.

The smile remained in her mind.


	9. Chapter 9

It was always silent during the night, minus the times her baby brother woke up. His cries were always distant though, and were never the reason why she lied awake during the night, staring at the wall or at the ceiling. Sometimes her mind was full of things, thoughts pounding in her head and overwhelming while the ceiling fan blew chilly air against her face. Other times her mind would be almost completely empty, arms sprawled out and hair resting around her face as one face crossed her mind.

Nights like the latter were always long, but calmed her as she stared into the eyes of the figure in her mind. His face was strong, eyes wise and old yet determined. Memories of running through foreign places with his hand clasped in hers crossed her mind. Other reminiscences of silently overlooking planets came into view, feeling him against her, the fabric of his suit rubbing against her arm. Sometimes his hand would reach out and wrap around her hand, slowly interlocking his fingers with hers.

He was known as powerful and intimidating. He had seen things no one could imagined, lost things that nobody would be able to know. He was the Oncoming Storm, the last of his kind, both a savior and a destroyer. And yet when he touched her, it was gentle, strong and comforting. It was a different person that grasped her hand and caressed her cheek. His eyes were kind and soft when she saw him look at her, so much different than the times they were cold and solemn while staring into the face of his enemies. It had taken some adjustment to get used to his large chocolate irises instead of the ice blue ones but after some time it had become a comfort to see his dark brown eyes fixated on her.

Her mind normally didn't think of anything else but the way the tiny cracks of his skin rubbed against her fingers and the emotion that flooded his eyes wherever he was; the way he ran his hair when he was in deep concentration and the childish smile that broke across his face when confronted with technology.

She kept the thoughts to herself. They made her grin, sighing happily as she heard the sound of his voice run through her mind or the way he adjusted the ties he wore often. Often she fell asleep while thinking of him, chasing after thoughts and fantasies with him.

However, nightmares of being abandoned on a beach plagued her, causing her to wake up in cold sweat and trembling. Tears would fall down her cheeks as she brought her knees to her chest, trying to muffle her sobs as well as she could. She knew that he was down the hallway, ready to devote the rest of his life to her, but she still had difficulty believing him. After he had left her not once, but twice, why would this new Doctor be any different?

Her heart ached tonight. She was curled up on the bed, shoulders shaking as she thought of him leaving her when there came the sound of soft footsteps. Sitting up suddenly, she looked towards the doorway, seeing the outline of a figure appear. It came into focus, hair sticking out in all different directions and pants drooping. The faint moonlight coming in through her window splashed onto the Doctor's face. His torso was bare, one arm rubbing the back of his neck as he looked at her.

Wiping her eye, she stuttered out, "W-what are you doing here?"

"I..." He seemed to be at a loss for words. "I felt like I needed to see you."

She stared at him, the fan rotating on her ceiling humming quietly. "Well, I'm here. I guess you can go back to your room."

"Wait." Closing his eyes, he took a breath. "Can- can I stay with you? Just for tonight."

"Stay with me?"

"I know this is strange, but..." He wiped his eye.

Rose studied him for a moment before throwing her blankets down, moving over for him. He eyed the bed, taking slow steps towards it and laying down. He met Rose's gaze as he turned on his side, mixed emotion churning in his eyes.

"Are you scared?" she asked.

"No," he answered after a pause. "Just sorry." Regret flickered through his eyes.

"Sorry about what?"

"Everything."

She exhaled slowly, looking away from him. Her fingers danced across the underneath of her covers.

"Are _you_ scared?"

She lifted her eyes to meet his. She closed her eyes, trying to keep her composure. "Yes."

He didn't say anything; suddenly, she felt tight arms encircle her, pulling her to him. Her breathing became heavy as his skin pressed against hers. She felt his heart beat, off-synch with hers. It was both calming and overwhelming to be so close and intimate so fast. He leaned in, lifting his head so he could place his lips by her ear. She froze as his breath rustled her hair before he whispered, "I am so, so sorry."

A tear fell from her eye.


End file.
